detroit become human was among the first narrative driven and choices matter games i ever played, and if it wasn't the first, it was easily the most influential and probably the game i hold the nearest and dearest to my heart. the story is emotional, it's gripping and beyond compelling despite it's flaws. especially in a time of AI and fear of machines and sentience, looking back at this game feels special. seeing androids tortured by humans, awakening and fighting driven by a desire for freedom, it's an incredibly, INCREDIBLY beautiful story.

connor and hank will forever be dear to me. characters like hank will be dear to me. that feeling of watching an aged, spiteful spiralling alcoholic in a dead-end job rediscover his passion and his purpose in something he so fiercely hated. that way he cares for connor's stupid little face like his own son, the found family, OHH the found family. every death, every proud look he gives connor when he makes a good decision, the hug at the end. every time connor heals his weary soul a bit and gives him hope. i love connor and hank dearly and their relationship is genuinely beautiful.

i think markus had a lot of good in his story and a lot of misses. he's a compelling character, his relationship with carl is very well set up, the way he takes charge and leads and fights without end in sight is proof of his character. capitol park and battle for detroit were such intense, AMAZING scenes whether you go revolution or demonstration. i still think simon deserved to be a romance option because that boy was YEARNING throughout the game, but alas. simarkus will live on in my heart.

i'm quite fond of kara, actually. her missions are easily the most emotionally gripping and i doubt there is a person in the world that didn't feel her anguish as they played. i love, LOVE luther and love him and kara together. luther has such a good heart he is #my gentle giant. i feel for kara so much throughout the game, from todd to zlatko to the concentration camp. it brought me such joy to see her story, see her flourish, see her be free. all of them. its such a beautiful game.

the original sapphic girlfailure rite of passage ... life is strange is a game that genuinely takes you back in time when you play it (no pun intended). it's such a simple setting with simple characters. loser girl in university tries to be a little less of a fuck-up with a complicated relationship with her best friend, but it transforms all that into something more. colorful and vibrant and breathtaking and heartwrenching and i was seated the whole way through.

max is another character very dear to me, like me in a lot of ways. a little bit of a loser, loner, artsy and geeky and introverted, just living in the background and wanting to be something more. and kind of bad with relationships. she's adorable and dorky and every stupid one-liner she makes about random bullshit in the game just makes me love her even more. that genuine desire she has to help and save people too, to be adored and favored and do everything right... she's sooo me it's not funny. she's a lot of teenage girls. she's a perfect protagonist for the weird sapphics, especially in contrast to chloe fucking price.

chloe fucking price in a GOOD way, mind you. chloe is a fuck-up in different ways than max is, and somehow she is so inexplicably cool? and irritating and broken in all the ways possible. she's a troubled teen, jaded with a potty mouth and drinking and smoking and daddy issues, none of which i really grew up with (except maybe that last one) but somehow, she is STILL likeable. she's a bad influence, and a bit villanous, but her heart is always in the right place, and somehow i want to be as cool as she is someday. and somehow seeing her and max together builds up a deep sense of emotion in me.

i love them together, really. the way they're so subtly sapphic and yet so deeply, so obviously sapphic they might as well be screaming it from the skies. there's so much nuance to them. chloe not being good for max is a fair argument, being violent and impulsive and borderline manipulative, but it's impossible to play to the end of this first game and not feel for them. to not want them together, to feel that deep bond and destiny between them. the way they need each other, trust each other, bounce off each other is so... so. i love them dearly. and they have been a stepping stone for sapphics all around the world.

OMORI is also among the first games i've played, and it's also one of the most unique. it's (vaguely) undertale-esque, fictional kids doing silly kid things in their silly little world. it's loads of fun to play, immersing yourself in this fantasy land of crazy adventures and bright colorful friends and creatures. and then OMORI becomes something else entirely. deep and emotional and heartwrenching, bringing you back to every godforsaken childhood trauma or anguish you've ever faced and increasing your pain by a trillion in 16 something hours of gameplay.

gameplay wise, it's SO fun. you and your silly little band of friends explore this fun fantastical world, meet new friends, encounter cool enemies, see the world and get stronger. the world is so SO cute and adorable and don't get me started on the soundtrack along with it ... its so dearly charming to me and i play the game over and over just to immerse myself in the happy joyous feeling of frolicking around with my friends.. it really feels nostalgic too, like a little slice of heaven, which fits. the combat is GREAT and super satisfying with a lot of room for strategy and creativity, the environment is so immersive and just.. god, its so joyous and so happy.

and when the story gets serious, it's serious. play the game if you want to, because going in blind gives you the greatest experience of the game. that turn from the happy and perfect dreamworld to the horror, the crumbling reality is so sharp, so bland even, the game sometimes makes you want to go back, to cope. SUNNY's reality speaks to me deeply. fear, self-hatred, isolation, self-harm, wanting the entire world to fucking go away because it's not getting better. i was in a similar state of mind when i was his age, and still occasionally am now, rotting in my room like a nobody. the story, the delivery, it's all so GODDAMN emotional, hits you like a trainwreck until you're crying. because if the game speaks to you, it screams.

i'm not as big of a fan of OMORI as i used to be due to how long ago i first played it. but the impact of it will always stay with me, the tears i shed and how beloved all the characters are to me. it's such a horrible story of guilt, self-destruction and the journey to forgiving yourself that i think will speak to a lot of people who've been in a dark place before. OMORI was something safe for me when i was a little younger and wide eyed, and i will still go back to it now and then for the good times. the story, the characters, KEL, HERO, AUBREY, BASIL, MARI, OMORI, and SUNNY all sit deep in my heart, like a home away from home.

"un jour je serai de retour pres de toi." is a quote popularized by disco elysium. a deeply, deeply philosophical game that in the midst of absurdist dark humor, immerses you in an almost fantasy like world of revolution and politics and deep, inner change. it is another narrative based game like the ones i talked about above but so absolutely above and beyond any other game in its narrative. in the way the music and the atmosphere immerses you into the city, the way its dialogue is so powerful, the way its message is so simple but strikes into you and leaves you changed by the end of it.

foundationally it's simple, kind of similar to hank and connor from DBH actually... drunk dead-end alcoholic cop wakes up from basically a suicide attempt and gets paired with a no-nonsense perfect gorgeous i love u sm kim kitsuragi detective and they take on a case and change each other. kim is a very well written character, i love him dearly. from the accent to his stupid face to his dead-pan comments. he's the polar opposite of the eccentric borderline insane and manic harry, and that's why they pair so well. all their interactions are so funny, and the fondness that grows between them is genuinely to me, so soft, so beautiful.

i think a lot of people feel underwhelmed by the ending of disco elysium because of the expectation. it's often advertised or treated as a detective murder mystery where you focus on finding clues and coming to the big conclusion, which has never been what DE is truly about, and people who treat it like that miss out on the beauty of the game. it's a grounded, mundane story about the depressing reality of the world, crumbling societies and a dying world hoping in whatever way they can to keep going. it's about the characters, the world, the common people. the bleakness of trying and how people try regardless. i think from that perspective, the ending is briliant. it's not about the destination, but the journey and what not.

there is a beauty and a tone of hope in the ending still, i think. that you can still find purpose and make something of your life even at its end. find your people, find yourself and be born anew. there is so much to theorize and talk about with disco elysium, so much thought you can put into every dialogue, every character and every emotion the game makes you feel. it really makes you reflect on the world. and its philosophical games like DE that i think need to be made more in the video game scene. still, i dont think there will ever be a game like disco again.

IWATEC is easily the nichest game i've played, and i'm sure there are probably only three people left in the world that have played it before. that being said, it is such, SUCH a gorgeous game, with some of the best world-building and immersive environments i've ever seen. being a sci-fi it's futuristic, but also so rooted in nature and whimsical, and i lose hours playing it, talking to the characters, building relationships, chasing different outcomes. out of all the games, i lose myself the most in this one, like another world.

at it's core, it's a life simulator slash dating simulator slash stat building game. you get thrown into a space colony years away from earth at the tiny age of ten, and grow up with other children born with you in the stars. you spend your time chatting with them, building friendships, building up your skills, encountering events and new areas, and shaping yourself up into the person you want to be. the VARIETY in the person you can become is so, so vast. from a warrior to a musician to a scientist to a governor. and every path somehow feels unique despite such a tiny game and a tiny world that still feels larger than life.

the characters are so, SO good. there's a niche for everyone; the emo loner, the egotistical asshole, the girlboss, the flirty puppyboy, EVERYTHING. and every single character is equally charming with so much love and care put into them, in their dialogue and designs and storylines and how they grow with you. you can romance them, or just develop friendships, or ignore all of them and be a solo trooper if you'd like. but the way they all come together to make the world feel so alive, so immersive... i couldn't praise it enough.

i haven't yet played a game that is as cozy as exocolonist and that i love so dearly. there is so much love put into the world, into the characters, into the events and how you can influence the world around you, shape it and the person you become when the game ends at 20 years old. i have a lot of fondness for the game, watching my friends, past lovers and enemies grow up with me every new playthrough, the CREATIVITY in the multiple different storylines, new things you might only discover after dozens of runs. vertumna will always be another home to me when reality sucks a little too much.